Paul’s “G”odiva Spot

Orion is the name of a star constellation.  I do not know where it sits or what it does, so do not ask!  I have no idea of where I am going with this, but I figure that if I just keep on typing, I will come up with something.

But speaking of stars, I spent some time yesterday with Otis and Rossweisse Iceland, two desperately good friends of mine and stars in their own right (and with regards to Otis, in his own mind!).  As I knocked on the door to anounce my arrival, I could almost hear Otis, flitting desperately down the hallway to open the door for me.  The first thing I saw were his teeth.  He was sporting a very wide toothy grin!  Needless to say it told me that he was up to absolutely NO GOOD (i.e. mischief, naughtiness, no-goodery, etc.), I knew that I was in for it!  Usually, Otis sees stars all the time, but only after Rossweisse hits him with a rolling pin on the head…several times!  Come to think of it, I think he kind of likes it and purposefully says things at random so as to get beat up!!

The first thing he did was break out the chocolate.  Rossweisse thought that it would have been a better idea to give that to me upon leaving, but I think he just wanted to see me all tightly wound!  Now they BOTH know what chocolate does to me.  Like putting aircraft fuel into a two-stroke tuc-tuc, I was sent buzzing about the house, until I just had to sit still (legs twitching desperately of course!) and wait until it wore off.  The chocolate was good though!  Nothing is better than a Godiva Chocolate Ice Cream bar, covered in milk chocolate and filled with chocolate ice cream! 

(*Insert drool here*)

Next, we all sat down and [I] chatted for a while.  With all the chocolate running through me, it seemed as if there was no ‘off’ switch to my mouth.  I just kept talking and talking, until I finally began to feel the buzz waring off.  So as soon as I got that out of my system, the three of us went into the kitchen and proceeded to create a FAB pizza, with pineapples, green peppers, chicken breast, zukini, (??), and of course, cheese!   I am allergic to zukini, and Otis kept whining that he was too.  Actually, he just does not like them.  So I confined the zukini to only one side of the pan.  You know your sanity is in question when one begins to talk to one’s food, but I never do that because I am sane.  Really I am!

We had a wonderful time of fellowship!  We chatted, laughed, threatened to beat up Otis again, etc.  It was a good evening.  Then, to pass the time, Otis dragged me out kicking and screaming to the video store where he picked up “The Muppets’ Wizzard of Oz”  We watched that until late, and then they both gave me a ride home.  The movie was good, but I do not think I will ever get over seeing Miss Piggy in leather.  Believe me, there are limits to what my little mind can endure!

Moi

I am sure some of you know how I feel about Kurt Weill’s “Threepenny Opera”.  I don’t like it, just in case you didn’t know it!  So that’s that.  The fact is that this music does nothing for me vocally.  As someone aspiring to be a bel canto singer, this just does not tickle my scalp.  Now I know what you are thinking.  The expression is to tickle one’s funnybone, but trust me when I tell you; my scalp is far more ticklish than anywhere else in my body, and I have embarrassing situations to prove it!

In January of this year, I sang with four of my collegues (Twiggy, Juniper, Jasmin, and Beryll) in excerpts from the Threepenny Opera.  I did what I could with the music, enjoyed it while in the moment and was glad when it was over.  I think what motivated me was thinking that I would never have to sing this music again!  Well, I was wrong!  I was approached by a conductor friend of mine (who will go by the name of Jessop) and he asked me to entertain the notion of singing this music again in the summer for his recital.  Upon hearing that, I decided that I did not want to ever do this again, and proceded to hide from him!  That is until I walked straight into Jessop one day (literally walked into him I mean) and after twisting my rubber arm, and sending me on a first-class, all-expense paid guilt trip, I gave in!  So here I am, about to do this again tonight and tomorrow night!

Well, here is something I have learned in life.  Sometimes the things we do not want to do may possibly lead to things we have been dying to do!  So, with that in mind, I am going into doing this VILE Weill with desperate enthusiasm and full committment to ideas…

And when it is over, I’m BURNING THE MUSIC!!!

Moi

It is always fun when one of us celebrate a birthday with some fun activity.   I have for years been trying to hide the fact that I was actually born, by telling people I was delivered by FedEx.  Somehow, people are not buying that one.

Anywho, we were all invited to celebrate with Kaity Lipstein her birthday.  We met at the bowling lanes on Academy.  Us usual, I arrived, with Cleopas and Anita, and was the first person to enter through the door to the alley (bosom first as per typical) to see an overflowingly, but contained gleeful Kaity!  One by one, the rest of the group assembled, the last being Patrick, who seemed to be out of blood by winning on the alley!  My intent was to just sit put and watch everyone throw these bowling balls down lanes of pins.  You know, I always wondered what the life of a bowling pin was like…so knowing me, I had to try to get into the head of a bowling pin in an attempt to dredge up something worth analysing.  Seeing that this is my blog site, I can do just about anything I want, so I will name the corner pin Hubert!

So on Saturday, Hubert wakes up and says, “Oh GOD!!!  Here we go again!  There has GOT to be a way to grow legs and just…ESCAPE!!!”  OK!  I need to put this in now.  You know things have done from bad to worse when a bowling pin starts talking!  How monotonous it would to spend your entire life being chased after and knocked out by a bowling ball, day in and day out!!  Ball after ball, Hubert saw his friends one by one being knocked over, sometimes slowly, and sometimes with painful speed.  However, when Hubert saw Moi coming, everything changed!  He rubbed his little imaginary hands in glee and snickered, “Let’s have some fun now that the idiot had arrived!”  I am the worst bowler in the world, or at least, I think so, and Hubert knows it from previous times I have gone bowling.  No matter how hard I tried, I just could not get that silly CORNER PIN to go down!!!  I could just hear Hubert snickering at me gleefully as I was trying to hit a full strike.  Do you know that I have never done that?  And, the only time I have ever been lucky in hitting down more than one pin is with the (what I think should be given a patent) signature reverse ‘granny’ shot.  And I did not really care how many people were laughing at me while I had my butt in the air angling for a shot.  I am already being laughed at and taunted by Hubert, so nothing else mattered.  I am determined however to go back there, and fix his business once and for all!  Call it a personal vendetta if you wish.

So then, we left the alley and skipped daintily over to Kaity’s house where we had a wonderful time of fun, food and bundt cake!!  In fact, I will be getting that recipe soon and I cannot wait to try it out!  We had a wonderful time, and some had even more fun than was necessary.  Rita and Patrick were constantly trying to tickle me, while I spent the rest of the evening trying to avoid being eaten, if not my the rest of the gang, by the doggies who kept licking their chops everytime I walked by.  I said to one of them, “Get your eyes off of my rumproast! AND STOP DROOLING!!”  I am sure the little Scottish Terrier was not happy knowing that I was not in his menu.

So, what is next??  Well, I know that we are all looking forward to Brandon Day (*VOGUE*)!!!  A day when we will zwiddle desperately over to Brandon, and walk down main street…VOGUING!  I can’t wait to blog this up!

Moi

This past weekend, a group of us from the Faculty of Music (U of M) Christian Fellowship (the same characters who were, like Moi, in costume for Alice in Wonderland, that is…) went on a what is now and established annual retreat!  Like last year, we all camped outside Cleopas Klittermann’s family home in Steinbach.

As per usual, I was the first at the rendez-vous point.  I came bursting into the music building, bags and all, chomping at the bit and raring to go!  I even remembered to bring my pillow this time!!  I figured that the others would be late in coming, but I know that we were all ready for a weekend of diversion, and diversion it was!!!

We arrived at the Klitterman home altogether.  First order of business was to set up the tents.  I was kind of hoping that it would be raining when we got there because everyone will agree that it was so hot and muggy that to stay indoors in the very cool basement sounded like so much fun!!  But, no such luck. Afterall we were camping afterall.  With the tents up and staked, we all I am sure worked up an appetite!  Well, now that I mentioned stake, which sounds just like steak, we all had snacks and finger foods to tide us over for the evening.  Cleopas got a nice fire outside going, and we all gathered there, to sing and meet and have a good time praising God.

Just before bed time, we all went for a walk down the gravel road.  This road is not lit, so it was fun walking in the pale light of the moon.  I was walking alongside Cleopas and talking, when I looked behind me and saw a little kitty kitty following us.  I picked up the cute little beast and became so attached to it that I took it with me on the walk.  Of course, this little four-legged angel became the centre of attention.  I was tickled that when I noticed the little kitty kitty, I thought some kid was playing with a remote control car!  Anywho, as we were walking back, it was clear to Cleopas that I was not about to part company with the furry feline, who was at this point purring away in my arms, and had to almost pry it out of my hands with me whining, “No no no!  I want the little kitty kitty!”  He put it at the front driveway of a house that he thought it had belonged to, and ran so that it would not follow us anymore.  Of course, this was so moving that I cried.  I kept looking back, wondering where was kitty kitty.  Eventually, I got over it.

It seems that the first night was spent listening to people snore.  I was told that whenever I did sleep that I do snore, and I believe it because when I got there, I was so stuffed up from hayfever that I am sure I did not have much space in my face to breathe through.  Seeing that the night was warm, I did not need the sleeping bag that was put in the tent.  Plus, seeing that Melvin and Siegmund went to sleep ahead of the rest of us, Melvin ended up sleeping on my bed, so I had to improvise.  I ended up sharing a blow-up mattress with Dilton and Patrick.  Somewhere in the middle of the night, I got cold and was trying to retrieve the sleeping bag.  Patrick was in such a dead sleep that I could neither wake nor move him.  So, in lieu of the sleeping bag, and seeing that we were all crammed in there like sardines, I ended up using Patrick as a radiator instead.  People also have funny ways of sleeping!  I woke up a couple of times to feel Siegmund playing footsie with me, Patrick kicking me off the mattress, thrice (!), Dilton…just being Dilton, and somebody else doing their desperate rendition of the Texas chainsaw masacre!

Now one of the highlights of this retreat was the waterfight that took place after the treasure hunt.  I think this waterfight should have been given a name: “Let’s Get Moi!”  I stuck my hand into the water in the barrel out of which we would get our water to through on eachother, and to say it was cold is a clear understatement.  The water was that of fridge temperature!  It was with that, that I decided I was going to sit this one out.  I was slowly tiptoeing my way into the house, when Cleopas dad, Mr. K., caught me.  With a maniacal grin on his face, he stood by the door preventing me from getting in.  I was at this point whining and trying to get in and he would not let me in.  So I ran to get in through the other doors and he beat me to the punch.  Then, like the town crier, more like the town squealer, he yelled, “Hey guys, Moi is still dry and is trying to get away!  GET HIM!!”  And with that, I took off running for my life!  I started running down the street away from the house, with everyone chasing me, when I realized that this was ridiculous, and that I was making things worse.  At some point, they would all gang up on me and empty the entire barrel over me, so I relented and stood still like a man and had them all, one by one, empty their pales, slurpee cups, waterguns on me.  I looked like a frustrated pig after a bath!

I eventually wormed my way inside, got dried off, and began preparing the stew that I had offered to cook for the evening.  Instead of trying to cook Cleopas, as I thought that eating him would be counter-productive to the whole experience, and also for the fact that I did not think his parents would really approve of us chomping on their son, I chose to go with beef instead.  The end result was, well, pleasantly shocking!  They ALL ate it and loved it!  I say that I was shocked because I only was able to use what I could afford to get for this stew, and it I still thought was missing something.  I was even more shocked that they kept talking about it all night and ate more of it the next day!  That evening, we had smores by the fire, which were SO GOOD!

I got up Sunday morning with the heavy thought that our time together was coming to a fast end.  One of the activities we did throughout the whole weekend was to listen to a pre-recorded series of John Piper’s ‘Desiring God’.  I was reminded several times of how much God desires us to be happy, so as to glorify Him.  It was also in these times that we really connected with eachother.  We took walks together, had quiet alone time, and prayed for eachother.  As we packed up and drove out last night, I reflected on how much fun I had had, but also how blessed I am to know that in Winnipeg, there are people who really epitomize the term, “Friendly Manitoba!”

Moi

P.S. I think next year, we should all come to retreat in pigtails!

Today is a dark and dreary day for me.  As usual, I tossed and turned, like a porkchop being breaded for baking, all night long, and got up this morning with the feeling as if the world had collapsed on top of me.  I know some of you know what I am talking about.

There are so many things to do; bills to pay, deadlines to meet, and if ever you slow down any, they run right over you.  However, though I do not feel like it, and though I could make a good argument to God about what is happening in my life, I think He already knows that.  One thing I think that is finally getting through to me is that we praise God not because we feel like it, but we praise God because we choose to.  I have always known this, but it is finally starting to sink in I think.  I know this sounds masochistic:  “Oh God, thank you Lord that health is compromised”, or “thank you God that everyone is out to get me and I have no place to hide”, or “thank you Lord that I am in such pain!  PAAALLLEASE beat me down some more…!”, or “thank you God that everyone is trying to eat me!!!!”  But it is not like that.  Contrary to what you all think of me, I am neither into pain, nor am I edible, so get your naughty little minds out of the gutter! 

You know, God does what He does and He does not need our permission to do it.  The Bible says that all things work together for good to those who love God and are called according to His purpose.  He never lies, never steals and He is not the kind of Father who when His children ask for bread, He gives them a stone.  He does not tease His children.  I have had so many experiences in my life that if I chose to, I could be bitter and angry at God, and sometimes, I really wonder why I am not!  There are times I have felt that it was like He was dangling a nice piece of Swiss dark chocolate in front of my face, and urging me to come take it, and when I get there, He takes it away, or it somehow falls down a drainpipe.  That thought came to mind especially after the RWB incident that you can read about in an earlier blog, if you want to, or do not remember. 

I cannot say that I understand, nor can I say that my questions concerning such events have been answered.  However, if praise is the power of Heaven, then, I pray that even in the midst of great sadness and pain, I pray that I will choose to praise Him and to worship Him, because if He cannot lie, and if His Word is His bond, then His promises to me MUST come to pass in my lifetime.  And even if they do not, GLORY BE TO HIS NAME NONETHELESS!

I do not feel any better after writing this, but today, I am going to keep on praising Him!

Moi

Now you are not going to believe this…I take that back!  You ARE going to believe this!!  I and my bunch of desperately nutty friends were involved in a birthday delusion, which involved characters from “Alice in Wonderland”…THE CARTOON I mean!  And guess what?  WE were the characters!!!

Alice was the birthday girl, a.k.a. Rita.  I cannot tell you how much she fit the part, even down to the apron!  And everyone else that came really outdid themselves!  Especially Patrick, who showed up as the Dodo, in a most impressive costume. If there was a prize, he would have won it!  He certainly knows how to make an entrance!  Being fashionably late does have its perks.  I, on the other hand had the daunting task of coming up with my cosutme.  I am sure you can guess the character I had to dress up as… Yes!  I was the White Rabbit!  Picture this!  Moi, in a red shirt, blue pants, with rabbit ears and a tail!  Needless to say I had to spend the whole trying not to be eaten!  Rabbits fear for their lives you know.

ANYWHO, first, we started off with a tea party!  I did the final rush-in squealing. “I’m late!  I’m late, for a very important date!  No time to say ‘hello’ GOODBYE!  I’m late, I late, I’m late!!!”  Do you know that in all the years I have seen this cartoon, I can never really figure out what he was constantly late for.  Anyway, I was always late for everything!!  At the party, I sat next to the Queen (a.k.a. Penelope).  Now we all know the Queen’s obssession with cutting off people’s heads.  Every 10 seconds or so, almost as if fixated in a trance, the Queen would emit that shriek, “OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!!”  Needless to say that as a Queen, Penelope was so committed to the role of being mean and cruel that sometimes I found her scary!  She was even accused of being fat and dripping by others at the table, though she had the useless support of her sniveling husband (a.k.a. Jeanette), the king.

Next we move on to the cutest costume!  That was definitely won by the little Church Mouse (a.k.a. Anita).  I was so relieved to know that there was jam readily available, in case the word ‘cat’ was ever mentioned.  We would not have wanted her screaming desperately all over the house freaking out about cats.  You see!  I am not the only one who was worried about being eaten, so I am not crazy!

The biggest candied hams of the evening were Mad Hatter and the March Hare (a.k.a. Melvin and Siegmund)!  Watching those two babble on desperately and breathlessly for the whole evening gave me a newly found respect for the speed and endurance of the human tongue!

And of course, WHO could forget the Cheshire Cat (a.k.a. Cleopas!)!!  He was an interesting fellow.  He did not have the decency to show up altogether for the party.  He was totally BESIDE himself with glee the whole evening, not saying much, and just sporting a toothy, sinister grin.  To say that he was barely there is a desperate understatement, and he would fall to pieces at a moments notice.  I do remember telling him to pull himself together but that just made things worse, and somehow, I think he rather enjoyed being all over the place.  It must be interesting to be able to stand on your head or string your tail through the craw of your bosom…literally! 

After a very interesting game of Croquet, in which the Dodo nearly lost it because we were not playing by any particular rule or code, we skipped daintily back indoors where we were ordered downstairs to actually watch ‘Alice in Wonderland’.   How quaint!  We, being in Wonderland, after a delicious tea party, were watching and being watched by…ourselves!  I am sure if we had dared to refuse, we would have been tied or duct-taped to the sofa, gagged and made to watch the movie at wand-point!  I knew I remember seeing rope and duct tape in Rita’s closet, not that I was snooping around in there by any means. 

It was a wonderful evening!  We even played a game of ‘My Fairy Princess’ or some other HP 360 Turbofax XL thereof.  I, as well as other guys was Princess Jasmin.  It was not at all surprising that all of us ended up being Princess Jasmin.  Of all the Disney Princesses, Princess Jasmin was the most ‘butch’.  I mean, she was known to jump over rooftops, has a tiger as a pet, and can work a good pole in self defence.  Not very dainty, is it?

Though it was fun, I could not help but wonder what she will have in store for us next year!  Last year, it was murder mystery.  This year, it was Alice in Wonderland.  Maybe, next year will be Superfriends, or Ballerinas-on-point, or even TELETUBBIES (*GACK!*)! With Rita, the world will NEVER know!!!

Moi