My Fear of Being Eaten!
Here is the age old question: Why do I have a fear of being eaten? Well, I have only been in T.O for one week, and already I am getting strange looks from people on the street. I mean, one would think that people are just friendly around here, but more than half of them look either like they are not being fed, or are so strung out on diets that require one to eat all of one pea, only to be washed down with a triple fat-free, sugar-free skim-soy-milk latte, which after spending $20.00 for, one ends up throwing it away out of guilt of getting fat!!! THIS is what I hear when I walk past people everyday! In big cities, people do not really care that the world hears their conversations. They talk about everything! Yes! EVERYTHING…OUT LOUD TOO!!!!
So, after reading Helga’s comment about being hungry, it reminded me of what happened to me today as I was on my way to an audition for a church job. I was walking along, when all of a sudden, I saw a couple of ladies licking their chops feverishly, while eyeing my flesh! I felt like I was being followed, because everywhere I went, they followed, until I finally disappeared into the church.
WHY do people want to eat me??? Do I have a sign stamped on my forehead saying “Grade A PORK (corn-fed)”? I make sure to use a strong soap so as to rid myself of any hint of squealing deliciousness, so that I do not add to the problem.
Anyway, this city is weird!!! And do not be surprised if when you all see me again, I have teeth marks all over me, and pieces of me missing! It is a jungle out there!!!
*GAPTH!*
Moi
