What I want for Christmas!
I have decided that after thinking long and hard about it, I do NOT want a HIPPOPOTAMUS named George for Christmas! When I decided that I wanted a hippo, I never gave much thought to the work that George would entail! Have you ever tried to BATHE a hippo…much less FEED one??? Plus, they have this thing where they love to spray their poop all over everything. They think it’s cute!
So, I have decided that, in lieu of the river horse (more like the river JALLOPE!) I have decided that for Christmas, I want…A WINNEBAGO!!! Yes, my friends! I want one of those oversized, wide-load house-on-wheels, gas guzzling contrivances that drive people nuts when they are caught behind them of the freeway! Now you are probably wondering what in the name of Pete would I be doing in a Winnebago, seeing that I am not really an outdoorsey type of person. I for one HATE long trips anywhere in a car! I would rather fly! But here are four reasons why I want one anyway!
- They are wide! Nothing is more thrilling that to wake up one morning, and take your bago out for a spin! People see you coming and they get OFF the freeway so as to not be caught in the billowing smoke of your exhaust. You will always be seen on the road because you will block out anyone or anything else on the road, and once you are up to cruising speed, wind blowing through your pigtails as they dangle desperately in the wind, you can sit back and own the road…at least until it is time to pull off the road and fill up the tank again! AND, it would be the only other thing that is wider than my behind!
- Bagoes do NOT have minds of their own! Hippos DO!! Have you ever tried to move a hippo that does not want to move? Well, with a bago, just start her up, and move her out of (or into) the way as you like.
- They (i.e. bagoes) are not addicted to spraying their poop all over the place!
- With a bago, you have a one-stop shoppe for everything. House, car, laundromat, restaurant and hair saloon for pigtails, all in one convenient box on wheels!
And I want my bago painted hot bronze and named HILDRED!!
Moi
