Paul’s “G”odiva Spot

So now, I have joined this new facebook thingie they have going on there…and I think I am starting to understand the concept of it! I just figured out (after a month and a half of being desperately clueless) how to upload pictures to the page! Isn’t it amazing when the lightbulbs go aflickering desperately in the head?

So now, I have put some pictures on there from my performance in Die Fledermaus by Strauss. Just a few stills, you know…so that friends can see what I look like in make-up and costumes. I was so excited to have figured this out on my own, that now, I am looking for things to upload! So watch out! You might see a picture of yourself…in pigtails and bows…with a staff…and rabid sheep chasing you…on my facebook page!

Moi

Here are seven factoids I have learned while on my recent visit to Winnipeg:

1. Absence really does make the heart grow fonder

2. I seem to be no less tasty to those of you who once envisioned me sizzling upon a hot griddle

3. You all probably thought the only thing I ever drove were chickens (and not cars)

4. I’m sane.  It’s everyone else who is crazy!

5. Helga and Lulu look younger every time I see them…especially in pigtails!

6. Cleopas is in major denial about his secret desire to wear whisks to his wedding

7. Simon (Pratt) has a thing for a certain 300-pound desperate viking milkmaid by the name of Milka

21. Cats and mice became friends

20. Chocolate became suddenly extinct (**AAAAHHH!!!!**)

19. Tenors got any respect…for more than five minutes

18. Laundry could actually talk

17. There were really nymphs and shepherds that descended upon us everyday

16. The whole world decided to get bad $2.99 perma-namanama-nents at once

15. We all wore pigtails at the same time

14. There was no more beer

13. A lion looked at an squealing overweight pig and lost his appetite

12. Cleopas really did find whisks his size…and wore them

11. Jeanette followed through on my idea for her to wear the Princess Leah ‘two-danish’ hairstyle

10. I never said, “*sigh* I’m still alive” anymore

9. Miss Piggy went on a diet

8. Ice hockey in Canada was played without the spilling of blood

7. Mr. MacSprech…was suddenly at a loss for words

6. Juniper voluntarily wore pigtails

5. Helga really did let Lulu loose…sans coffee (*AAAACK!*)

4. Casper suddenly went vegan (*GASP!*)

3. Hippopotamuses could actually fly through the air (as we already know elephants can!)

2. I lost my taste for chocolate (*EEEEEEEEEEEEK!*)

1. I really actually did have a girlfriend (in which case, the whole world would be singing at once, “HALLELUJAH! HALLELUJAH!!!”)

Moi

P.S. Hey! It can happen you know!!! So the next time the earth stops spinning, or even if the moon turns blue, e-mail me and ask if it has happened yet.

I have something to confess to you all. I actually do have a girlfriend! Yes, alas, I have been holding out on you. She and I have only been dating for a week now! So let me tell you all about her:

She is Japanese-Canadian. She hates the suburbs but thrives best in big cities. She is petite (unlike me), neat and clean. She has a desperate fear of water, but does not mind jumping from high perches. She is currently living with me in the part of the apartment I rent, and we get along quite fine.

Oh yes! Her name is Sheba. Sheba To. Now if you were in Japan, you would say her name To Sheba…

YES, SHE IS A LAPTOP!!! What WERE YOU ALL THINKING?????

So yes! I am now among those who walk around with laptops in one hand and lattes in the other. Although I am not too much into lattes really, it sounded good when I was saying it. For me, it is a bit nerve-wracking because now, I have to do things like keep her anti-virus boosters up-to-date, and make sure she is running at full capacity! I feel like a parent in some respects. But you know, I will take good care of her. I love giving attention, even though she is not one to start conversations at will. But I have had conversations with her, much to the indigestion of others watching me pet a laptop while talking to it. So there you have it. That is my latest bit of news…and also that I am singing this weekend as tenor soloist with the Tryptych Ensemble and the Jubilate Singers in two oratorios: The Gounod’s St. Cecilia Mass and DuBois’ Seven Last Words of Christ on Saturday coming…@ 8:00PM…with orchestra! Address: 1570 Yonge Street Toronto…Tix: $35.00 @ door!

Moi

Here are seven factoids I have learned about (us) tenors:

1. We really do congregate in practice rooms and become each other’s therapist.

2. We seem to attract the wrath of other musicians, especially sopranos and collaborative pianists!

3. Paranoia runs in our blood!

4. We are usually the butt and sport of jokes in the music world when it comes to counting!

5. We make desperately fantastic lovers onstage…

6. Some of us obsess over high notes, bosoms (M**HA*L!) and fach!

7. Tenors have three dynamic markings: loud, louder, and mute!

As I was schlepping my corpus to the airport on Monday, I was whimpering to myself how much I really do miss Winnipeg!  My hamhocks could not zwiddle on that cold, sunless dawn, as I felt like dead weight dragging one hock in front of the other in an affort to get BACH to Toronto. I miss Winnipeg, not because of the city itself, but because of those who have become so precious and dear to me…even though some still consider me something delectible to slather on mesquite sauce and slap on your grills…which is still disturbing to me on some level!

Already, I am missing Helga’s BUNDTS! I was so tickled to have such a wonderful reception for me in the music library, when I bursted in desperately, bosom first of course! Out came the BUNDT cake and brownies! Helga flung herself upon a cutting knife with which she used to dissect the ringed lump of goodness! With cinnamon cream cheese frosting to boot!!! Lulu flitted in, on point no less, from a tennis lesson with one of the shepherds she did not manage to eat, and of course she won the game, lest he be next! Both ladies accoutred themselves desperately in pigtails, flashed all 72 teeth and all was right with the world!!!

But now (*sigh*) I am missing BUNDT! No more BUNDT from Helga! I have come back to a world that knows no BUNDT! I am…BUNDTLESS in Toronto! Sans Bundt! In a forced BUNDT FREE city! DESPERATELY DEPRIVED AND STARVED OF BUNDT CAKE, I bleed, writhe, DIE, and then sigh for the rest of my days (*loud whining squeal and then, nose blow on random shirt sleeve*)!!!!

I comfort myself at night (as I rock back and forth in the foetal position) thinking that the day will come again when I shall bask in the rains of Winterpeg…in July! When I shall come BACH to smiles, grins, squeals, Cleopas and Jeanette zwiddling desperately down the aisle, in a Star Wars themed wedding (don’t worry Cleopas! I have my robes, faux unabrow and light saber already packed!) and of course…BUNDT! But until such time, I shall continue to endure!

Do not cry for me Winnipeg…FOUR, EYE SHALL BEE BACH!!!!

Moi

This is in desperate response to Cleopas’ comment to me about being so glad to eat*** (*cough, hack cough*) see me again! NOW you see why I am paranoid!

A few of us met for an event called “Fondue Friday” where we pretty much fondued everything in sight that was edible. We had hot oil for cooking meats, and a cheese fondue that was to die for! However, in all of these festivities, I observed (in a slightly painful way) that skewers were fished out and used to poke me to see if I was really as tender as you all think I am. Plus, no one seemed to mind when I was standing near to the fondue pot of hot oil for the meats. In fact, I am quite sure that Melvin would not have minded one bit if I fell in and started sizzling! And that also explains why Rita was into the candle lighter, and staring at me while being desperately accoutred in evil smirk, etc. Fire she found, now hunting was she for raw meat with which to broast! In order to keep the attention off of myself, I had to make a desperately MEAN mocha-chocolate sauce for fondue so that the masses could focus on that! I melted down some really GOOOOOOOD chocolate, added heavy cream, and vanilla, and VOILA! We had the makings of a dip which into which you could dive!

In response to my flesh being eaten, I will have you all know that I cannot help it if I happen to be tasty. I cannot be held responsible for my adorability, which is rather high I must say…in other words, don’t hate me because I am delicious! Find some other reason please!!!

THAT was a fun evening though! We played ring games with each other, and just…talked and caught up with each other, and had a great time. However, the next time we have a fondue dinner, there is one thing we must fonDON’T! We cannot be poking around Moi with skewers to test for tenderness. That is just wrong. AND, NO DROOLING!!!!!!!!

Moi

In SMCF, we have had some incredible times! We like to find any reason possible to get together and have a party. Today was no less a thrill! We had our first ever Fondue Friday! We just about fondued anything that looked edible, which meant that I kept myself far away from the hot oil. There was, however, the odd (and off) person who would try to come at me with those little skewers, but I managed to stave them off at all fronts!

I must say that coming to this party with all these people showed me something today, as I have been experiencing since I have come back to Winnipeg to visit: I am loved! I am really loved!!! I never knew that I had THAT kind of impact on the lives of so many. I was thinking that I would come and visit, and that people would stop and say ‘hi’ but carry on with their busy lives. Instead, I was greeted with BUNDT, courtesy of Helga, and everyone seemed to want to get a ‘piece’ of me. Hence, those who were trying to come at me with skewers!

One such highlight for me is when I made one of my signature entrances into Mr. MacSprechen…’s office and met Dietrich and Andrew! Two young tenors who are now working with Mr. M. I am so happy that Mr. M. is working with them simply because he is a tenor and knows tenor voices. They seemed a bit down and discouraged with their progress, but after working with them a bit, I began to see their potential! Like a scumptor sees the finished product in the lump of rock even before he lays a finger on it, do these guys remind me. They both have great voices, and I can see that they will make it because of the determination that I see in them to succeed. Plus, being so young and being able to sing the way they do now…they really have a lot to be thankful for, and a lot to be proud of! I am glad that I was able to add my two cents worth and I hope they will keep in touch with me and keep me posted.

I just want all to know that I am really overwhelmed with your love and His love in you! I love you all and I really hope to see you soon!

Moi

I must take the time to express to all of you how much your reception of me has meant to me!!!! Though you might deem what I am about to say strange, I am not used to receiving such affection from so many fronts! You like me! You REALLY like me!!!! And my heart is full of love for you all as well. Thank you for touching me so deeply!

Now one would think, as rightly said by Casper today to me, that I should be running on fumes due to that fact that I was functioning on only three hours sleep! But today, so much of your love and affection has kept the adrenaline pumps in my body at full tilt! It was a great day for me! I got to spend some time with Helga, Lulu, the nymphs and shepherds, Mr. MacSprech…, Casper, and so many others I have run smack dab into today. I even sang for Mr. MacSprech… who noted and complimented me on the wonderful changes my voice and I are going through. It was also good to get feedback on things that I need to be mindful of. None of us in voice will ever succeed without such constant wisdom and reinforcement, and we would be fools to think we could.

Oh yes! Helga and Lulu gave me a name of my own! My new name (when I am not referring to myself as ‘Moi’) is now Pebbles! Plus, they were in pigtails for a good portion of the day, which I was thoroughly tickled by, not that I am obsessed with pigtails, for that’s just silly!  They had a small reception for me, with BUNDT!!!  I was in desperate heaven!  Even Venus on her halfshell, helped my nymphs and shepherds decended upon these preceedings so as to inhale the whole entire bundt!  And inhaled it was!  Does she ever have an appetite!  I was so touched by them, and I still owe Helga a neck massage…but I will tend to that tomorrow, so start yelling for your mother Helga!

So here comes Wednesday! Already the time is running desperately away from me. I will have a lot to do today, as well as lots of people I want to/need to see! So I am taking things one moment at a time. In all of this, one must never forget to breathe, otherwise one will turn several brilliant shades of purple and most likely, pass out. We do not want that, now do we? Oh yes! And did I mention that I ran into Beryll? Oh yes! She was up to her usual antics, beating me up, etc. Certain things just never change, like Beryll’s need to beat up tenors!

Anywho, I must get some rest so that I can look half way decent tomorrow. So come to my recital at Knox United Church on Sunday 2007 March 18 @ 7:00PM. 400 Edmonton Street. Winnipeg, Manitoba…CANADA! Admission: $10.00 and proceeds will go to the church.  I will be doing a small programme which will include duets with Desiree, and of course, Rosweisse and I will be RACHIN’!

Moi

Hello all you desperate peoples!!! I am BACH!!! BACH in Winnipeg that is!!!! Just flew in from Houston, and BOY ARE MY ARMS TIRED!!! HAAH!!!!! Anywho, as I was flying in last night, I looked out unto the lights of the city and could feel all the love of everyone I know there just…jumping up to me. Though my flight was late in getting in, I am still happy to be here, no matter how icky the weather might be!

But first, a little about where I was before I made my desperate approach. I was in Houschtinkt (pronounced Hew-Schtinkt), Texas all weekend. My uncle flew me over to attend a family reunion of sorts, and I spent the time with him and with the others who joined him up from Jamaica, and we had a splendid time. I got to meet a lot of the Jamaican community there, which I am being told exceeds 50,000! One of the highlights of my trip was that the lady who was hired to bus us around all weekend showed up at the airport in a pigtailed wig!!!! Yep!!! She had BIG PIGTAILS!!!! And she was quite happy to be caught dead wearing them!! So that made me smile. YOU GO GIRL!!!!

Getting here to Winnipeg though was quite a challenge! I had to battle the elements, like thunderstorms, crosswinds, tempermental flight attendants, constipated seat mates, and no chocolate to get to you!!! I missed one of my connecting flights and when I finally got to the departure lounge of Air Canada, the flight left late! Which meant that I got in rather late. I did not get to bed until after 3:00AM!

But now, enough of all these whimperings, and ‘lasciate mi morir’-ings (*gasp!*)! There’s work to do! I have got people to scare, Cleopas to prepare for pickling/roasting, Casper to get a bikini-waxing from Milka, the desperate house Milchfrau, and lots of BUNDT to eat (Helga!)!

Moi