I think the earth would stop spinning momentarily if…
21. Cats and mice became friends
20. Chocolate became suddenly extinct (**AAAAHHH!!!!**)
19. Tenors got any respect…for more than five minutes
18. Laundry could actually talk
17. There were really nymphs and shepherds that descended upon us everyday
16. The whole world decided to get bad $2.99 perma-namanama-nents at once
15. We all wore pigtails at the same time
14. There was no more beer
13. A lion looked at an squealing overweight pig and lost his appetite
12. Cleopas really did find whisks his size…and wore them
11. Jeanette followed through on my idea for her to wear the Princess Leah ‘two-danish’ hairstyle
10. I never said, “*sigh* I’m still alive” anymore
9. Miss Piggy went on a diet
8. Ice hockey in Canada was played without the spilling of blood
7. Mr. MacSprech…was suddenly at a loss for words
6. Juniper voluntarily wore pigtails
5. Helga really did let Lulu loose…sans coffee (*AAAACK!*)
4. Casper suddenly went vegan (*GASP!*)
3. Hippopotamuses could actually fly through the air (as we already know elephants can!)
2. I lost my taste for chocolate (*EEEEEEEEEEEEK!*)
1. I really actually did have a girlfriend (in which case, the whole world would be singing at once, “HALLELUJAH! HALLELUJAH!!!”)
Moi
P.S. Hey! It can happen you know!!! So the next time the earth stops spinning, or even if the moon turns blue, e-mail me and ask if it has happened yet.
