Paul’s “G”odiva Spot

So, I have come up with a facsimile version, called, “Gunther, the chartreusse luftkraft!” and it goes like this: (NB Sing to the original tune of “Rudolph the red-nosed venison roast”.)

Gunther, the chartreusse luftkraft
Had a nose just like a pearl
And if you saw his colour,
It would make you want to hurl!

All of the other luftkrafts
Used to beat him up and sing:
“Only if we could do it,
We would tear him wing from wing!”

Then one sunny Boxing Day
Brunnhilde came to say,
“Gunther, dear, you are just right
For my viking maiden flight!”

Then she took her two big pigtails
And made Princess Leah buns,
Then flew in good old Gunther,
Whose palour gave her the runs!!!

Now I know that this does not make much sense, but I am not for a moment going to let that stand in my way! I like this version better than the original! I am sure that before Christmas, I will come up with other versions…oh yes! They are flowing, so brace yourselves!

MOI

I am especially going to miss it when I come home, and when I say hello, someone was there to answer me.  Normally, when I go home, I say hello to the apartment…and it never answers back…and I for the life of me cannot figure out why!  I mean, they say the walls can talk…but mine do not seem to say anything.  Hmmm…maybe I need to draw some mouths on them…maybe that might help things along.

Tonight, when I get home, I plan to busy myself with washing sheets and pillow cases.  I might even take out my little sewing kit and do some minor repairs to my clothes.  It is just not going to be the same without her there.

But I take heart because in a few weeks, I will be in Jamaica visiting my family ( my parents, her, my siblings, and other such assorted persons).

You know, this morning, while I was moisturizing, something that I have always known really hit me in a deep way:  We many time do not receive from God because we do not ask from Him!  So this morning, as I was busy tumbling desperately down the hill to school (I started out zwiddling, but there was ice on the ground, so it turned into tumbling), I laid out my ‘list’ before God.  And when I was done, I felt so much better, like I had removed a weight off of my bosom!

Well, time to at least look like I am intelligently busy!

Not to mention, I have been walking into all sorts of objects today!  You all know that I have an affinity for walking into doors, and even medians of doors!  Well I seem to have graduated to things like doorstops, flagpoles, streetlights, and, my most favourite, OTHER PEOPLE!  I do not know if I am just ‘off’ today, or I am beginning to lose it, but this colliding with things is excessively unattractive!

Some of you know that my aunt is here visiting me from Jamaica.  It is SO GOOD to have her here!!!  We have gone shopping, looking for old friends who live here now, and grazing such stores as DOLLARAMA, and A BUCK OR TWO!  It is amazing the stuff you can find in these places, all for a loonie (or toonie as the case might be).  Last night, she was laughing hysterically at me, for supposedly circling the spot where I was goign to sit before sitting.  Now that is the silliest thing I have ever heard.  I think she is making that up because I do not do that!  Besides, I am not capable of such silliness, right?

Anyway, it is back to the old grindstone for me!  More to come later.

Moi

Yes, I was one smitten kitten! I was lost in the waves of being swept off my feet, in desperate love, silly, senseless, and hopelessly thirteen sheets to the wind in love!!! And, I managed to stay in love for all of two hours!!!! Yes, for two hours on two different days, I was tortured, abused, made to beg, and even forced to threaten to fling myself into harm’s way for a skittish woman…ADINA!!! You know, after being in this opera, I have come to realize that there are many women out there JUST like her!!! I do remember a time in Prep School where I was in love with a certain girl, who just would not give me the time of day. To her, I was a boil on the butt of humanity…a hangnail…a smelly puppy who just refuses to go away, even after many a rejection! But that all evapourated soon after I went to high school. Her name, you may ask, was Trixi. Well, not really, but this is as cose to the name as I dare to write in here.

ANYHOO, I, Nemorino, was so into this woman, that, knowing that I am a total wimp, was willing to join the army, knowing that I would not last a day! I was content to die if I could not have her. It is amazing to me how much opera can mirror real life. Now, if we were to kidnap Nemorino, and tie him up gag him and throw him in a closet, and put MOI in as the opera’s tenor character in the story, this is what I would do:

Adina: Oh what an annoyance you are, only able to sigh!! Wouldn’t it be better to go home to your uncle, who is gravely ill?

Nemorino: His pain is nothing like mine. I cannot leave…many a time have I tried!
MOI: Listen honeybumplekins! Let’s settle this right now. Do NOT (*snap*) waste my time! If there isn’t a chance in h-e-doublehockeysticks that this…thing between will work, then say so! Otherwise, I will go so that you can work some other poor slob!

Adina: Tell me, what made you decide to go join the army?

Nemorino: Why? Because I intended to join so that I could improve my destiny.
MOI: Why? So that I could get away from you, you psycho!!!

Adina: Oh heck with the contract! If you believe in your heart, love with me true to you. So I tell you finally, you are dear to me. I love you!!!

Nemorino: You love me? The doctor did not deceive me!
MOI: Why is it that you had to take up THE ENTIRE OPERA to tell me that? You are SUCH a diva! No worse! SUCH A SOPRANO!!!!!!

See? I have this knack of cutting to the chase! Nonetheless, I had lots of fun, so much so that I actually giggled uncontrollably after each act. I was fit to be slapped, but I didn’t care. I was just having the time of my life! I AM an opera singer!!!! I love being an opera singer, and I cannot see myself doing anything else! I was BORN to do this!!!

Moi

1. I am addicted!

2. I miss it

3. I need to stop expecting you all the read these, and comment, and just…write!

4. I do NOT have a pigtail fetish.  This has nothing to do with blogging, but I am not for a moment going to let that stand in my way!
5. After not blogging for sometime, I feel verbally constipated…but I will SOON take care of that!