Hippos are SOOOOO Five Minutes Ago!
Now I know what you are asking: Why the heck do I want a dromedary?? Well here are soem valid (at least to me they are) reasons:
I was once told by a soprano friend of mine, Sally Ingforth, that passion in a dromedary doesn’t go so deep. I beg to differ. I have since discovered that dromedaries are very emotional creatures that have very divaesque tendencies. For example, it has a way of just standing there, with a look of eternal indigestion on its face when around humans. It has the uncanny ability to “cut the cheese” and make it look like its owner did it. Unfortunately, some dromedaries have killed their owners because they were standing on the wrong end when that happened. They’d just turn green and die from poisonous gas exposure.
I had mentioned that they are very emotional creatures. If an owners hurts its feelings, dromedaries don’t just sit their chewing and spitting like their cousins, the camels do. They actually fling themselves on the ground and cry, beating their two-toed hooves into the ground in desperate protest at the injustice they have just experienced.
Oh yes. NEVER make faces at a dromedary!!! For they are vengeful creatures who will, as soon as you turn around, makes faces right back at you. Everyone else will see their antics, like dissappearing in a puff of smoke and returning in a pink tu-tu, (this all happens in a split second) while flitting around on point, use their hooves to spread their mouthes open really wide and stick their tongues out at you, and as soon as you turn around, they poof back into their usual bored/constipated look.
Dromedaries, unlike hippos, do not go around knocking things over with their bulk. Most of their body fat in stored in their one hump on their backs, (camels have two humps!) and they feed once every few weeks. They can walk for long distances and do not have too much opposition to humans sitting on their backs. All George is good for is swimming!
So, if Santa reads this blog, now you know what I want for Christmas this year. I do not want a watergun, or a pogo stick. I do not want ao beanie or a pet boa constrictor on a leash. I want a dromedary…and I want one in yellow!
Moi
