Monday, July 21, 2008

KENORA DAY (*SHIMMY!*)!!!!

Seeing that I cannot seem to tease my Winnipeg friends into another outing, where we descend upon some unsuspecting town or borough, and proceed to fill it with desperately compressed glee, whether they want us to or not, I decided to have my own outing…and so today, I had a KENORA DAY (*SHIMMY!*).  The shimmy is there because one has to actually shimmy while saying this, and grin at the same time.  It is kind of like walking and chewing gum at the same time, or something even harder for me, walking and talking at the same time, as I seem to end up face first into brick walls or telephone posts!

Actually, I had a most interesting trip.  I think the trip for more eventful than the actual BEING in Kenora, even though I did meet up with a very good friend and we had coffee and chatted for a while.  It seemed to me that everytime I drive out of Winnipeg, all the bugs come out of their respective bogs and oraphaces ro descend upon my windshield!!!!  AH!  The sight of BUZZKILL to brighten a Sunday afternoon stroll!!! I cannot speak for anyone else, but I seem to attract these desperate creatures, who have such a desperate death wish as to fling their corpi unto my windshield at high speed!  Everyone else on the freeway was happily moving along, and I kept having to drain my windshield washer fluid to keep being able to see where I was going!  They are out to get me the little BUGgers!!!

When I actually GOT to Kenora, I parked by the Safeway where I met my friend.  As I was heading into the building, I saw the front of my rented car.  It was like a graveyard for bugs!  Three dragonflies looked like they were trying to sabbotage my engine by wedging themselves into the car’s grill!!!  There they were, wings and all sticking out of the grill, dead!  I have never seen so many fly guts in my life!!!

Aftetr my visit, I headed BACH to Winnipeg, and, like earlier on in the day, SPLAT, SPLAT, SPLAT!!!!  One after the other, they hurled themselves to their death upon my windshield, guts and all!  When I finally made it into Winnipeg, I went straight to the carwash!  Even though I had to pee so badly, that HAD to wait! 

So other than the great time I had with my friend, the main highlight for me on this trip was the vendetta that played itself out to the guey end, and the revenge I got to inflict by the power of the touchless high velocity spray of the wash!  So what’s next?  I am sure that tonight I might be haunted by the ghosts of these six-legged and winged little beasts!!!

Moi

Posted by Paulie Wallie at 04:00:33 | Permalink | No Comments »

Saturday, July 19, 2008

No children (or teachers!) were EATEN in the making of this recording!

This past week has been interesting!  I am sure you have read about it in the past two blogs, but I just have to reiterate!  I can assure you that no children (or teachers!) were eaten in the making of this part of the album!  We had a few challenging moments where we did some great takes and the kids came and ruined it with the sounds of their screaming voices, climpering feet up and down the stairs, or, just general rebellion.

There were moments when, looking into the faces of these little…ANGELS (BLESS THEM!) one could clearly see who had the power in that moment.  They thought they were in control!  And I think they enjoyed that. For a while at least.  It always seemed that they always knew when we were about to make headway on a piece.  And then, right on cue, they would ruin it.  I think they desperately wanted to be in the album one way or another.  A ramdom children’s chorus of uncooth vocal utternaces!!!

I did not know which was funnier.  The fact that they would see me storming around the corner and try to quiet each other down, or that in the process of quieting each other down, they would make MORE noise, for a longer time.  At one point, Ralph, my producer, had just about had it and was looking to see in there was a beebee gun lying around.  I still think that the gaggle of Sandanavian nuns was the ticket.  And if there isn’t a convent nearby, there is always duct tape!  But NO!  No one listens to me.  Even Rossweise was beginning to lose it after a while!  And speaking of Rossweise, she amazed us both with her stamina and her desperate professionalism!!  For a little lady who is desperately pregnant, and soon to gleefully descend upon some unsuspecting birthing stool, she was amazing!!  Yes you are DAHLINKS!!!!  Even your sarcasm was cute!  And she even came to the first session wearing…PIGGIES!!!!

The MOST interesting moment of the week was when Ralph went again to get the kids to be quiet as we were about to re-take a piece.  He opened the door and spoke to the kids, and saw two teachers standing there in FACING the signs in RED saying, “PLEASE BE QUIET! RECORDING IN PROGRESS!” and talking even louder than the kids!!  It is at THAT point we realised who and what we were dealing with!  I talked with one of the the teachers about the noise problem and she just looked at me with a horrified expression as in, how in the world was she going to accomplish keeping them quiet.  My how times have changed!!

But now we are done, and I can safely say that we did so without any incidents.  A very interesting journey I have gotten myself into, but I know that He (God) who has started a good work, is faithful to complete it in me.

Moi

Posted by Paulie Wallie at 16:10:18 | Permalink | Comments (2)

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Recording in Whiney-PEG!

So, now I am in Winninpeg (a.k.a Whiney-PEG), and I am in the middle of part one of the recording process for my first album.  I am having a wonderful time, and we are actually as of today, ahead of schedule.  However, there is a down side to all of this.  They come in the form of wonderful little human beings called…CHILDREN!!!  Now I know that everyone will say that I was a child at one point so I am to give them a break!  Well… let me think about that for a sec……..NO!!!!

I was first of all told that the building would be virtually empty.  I should have known that the word “virtually” is really where all the mischief lies!  For in that same said word, lies of herd of squealing, out-of-control girlies, and rough-and-tumble boyzies scurrying about aimlessly and being where they ought not to be! Now do not get me wrong.  I love kids!  I am quite the little kid at heart.  I think they are wonderful, adorable, teachable, and otherwise good little people…particularly when they sleep!

I am on day two of the process and, I think I can speak for the rest of the people on my team (Rossweise being one of them), we have just about HAD IT with the ADORBALE little DISASTERS!!!  Let me explain:

We were near the end of a great ‘take’ in the sanctuary, where we are recording yesterday.  After singing “Spring Waters” by Rachmaninoff in F-major and doing it at least thrice, I would have sung a high C at least six times that day!  We were on the third take which was going SO WELL, and then, just as the last piano bits were being played, and the sound was ringing through the sanctuary, in screams little Hildegarde (or Beullah-Leigh), with lungs of steel!  And seeing that she screamed, it started a chain reaction of screams, which of course, was all caught on tape!  After having this happen a number of times, I lost it! I marched out of the sanctuary and proceeded to SCARE some kids senseless by giving them a good piece of my mind!!!  When I was done with them, the three of them just stood there, frozen, not knowing what to do.  Eventually their legs eventually told them to run away, and then, the rest of their bodies followed suit!  I thought they got the point. Well, that was until a new set showed up today!

And today, I had to do the same thing, but this time, I was a lot nicer.  After asking them to move to another location, one of them decided to do her impersonation of Shenaye-naye!!!  She walked off, snapping her fingers with the biggest attitude (and neck-swivel) I think I have seen in a long time! 

So, today, my producer and I have agreed that to solve this problem, we have three choices:

1.   Feed them to a gaggle of Scandanavian nuns who will make them sing “Cum-ba-yah” all day long,

2.   Give them a dose (or seven!) of Queen Aggravain’s potion of opium and warm milk, or,

3.   Threaten to force-feed them raw bean sprouts if they disturb us agian!

Personally, I like the first option! 

So there you have it.  My life never seems to get boring.  But even in the midst of all of this AGGRAVAI-tion, the Lord is carrying us through it and we are accomplishing much! 

More to come later!

Moi

Posted by Paulie Wallie at 04:14:58 | Permalink | No Comments »

Want to know what I think?

I think that…

  • people should be open to the idea of wearing piggies at least once in their lives!
  • trees are overgrown forms of vegetables, but they look nice as decoration
  • one form of capitol punishment should include someone being tickled into submission
  • Winnipeggers have the highest cannibal ratings in the world, and I can prove it!
  • we should all just…get along already!
  • mommies smell great always
  • younger siblings are expendible
  • rabbits, deer, pigs and goats should never be raised as pets.  They are FOOD!
  • Cleopas and Jeanette should attend a Star Wars convention, adorned with buns and sabers.
  • Melvin is really out to get me!
  • Mitzie Frappuchino (nee Meltfinger) is wonderful! 
  • Rita will wear piggies at least once, even if it means under duress!
  • the answer to the world’s crises lies in a simple toilet.  You can flush all the crap down it!
  • you are all insane for thinking that I am
  • I am still too young and way too cute to be eaten!
  • some people only respond to being chased with a live cattleprod
  • Lulu is secretly and desperately DYING for a Java-I.V.!
  • Helga has forgotten me (hint hint hint!)
  • Bundt cakes are still the best things on earth!
  • Helga wants desperately to make me a Bundt cake (not trying to drop ANY hints anywhere!)
  • recording music, and children screaming for NO REASON WHATSOEVER is enough to make me want to feed them to a gaggle of German nuns for a month!!!!

There!  So now you know what I am thinking.  Stay tuned for more Factoid Tuesdays, coming soon!

Moi

Posted by Paulie Wallie at 03:44:45 | Permalink | No Comments »

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Where I am now…

So now, I am at an impass.  School is done and I am now again on my own.  When Iwas in school at least I had the comfort of knowing that, gig, or no gig, I had lots to do.  Now, it is time for me to wing it in faith, and work as hard as I can in the process.

I have not been blogging much because I have not gotten much encouragement from my readers.  I know I said that it di dnot matter to me if you read and commented or not, but it really does!  Just had to fling that in there!

So now, I am T-minus 5 days to the actual recording process.  I am scared out of my wits but I am ready to do this.  So this week I have been zwiddling my hamhocks desperately hither and thither (also, so as to keep from being eaten, as that temptation seems to be most prevalent in Winnnpeg) to get ready.  Which reminds me, I have not seen Lulu in a while!  I wonder what she is up to.  I wonder how her anti-java campaign is going. 

So, guess what is happening this weekend???????????????  We are going to RETREAT!! RETREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 2008!
Yes!  We are going to go roughing it in the woods, flailing desperately to kill the bugs, zwiddling desperately through wood and brush, and sleeping on the ground like a bunch of wreckless rebels with causes!  AND, someone in that bunch is going to be the victim of piggietails in the hair!!!!  So my main task is to again avoid being a menu item again!

Being BACH in Winnipeg has been wonderful for me so far.  It is a good change of pace from Toronto, and it is wondeful to be among friends, to catch up with them, and see where they are in life, and also just to BE here.  This is a very special place to me.

Oh yes!  I simply REFUSE to be the victim of the water war this year!  I am going on a mutiny!  And that is all I have to say about that!

Moi

Posted by Paulie Wallie at 13:52:19 | Permalink | No Comments »